Catherine, Dialogue 167
containing the Transit of the Seraphic Virgin, Saint Catherine of Siena, to Sister Catherine Petriboni in the Monastery of San Piero a Monticelli near Florence. In the Name ofJesus Christ.
Dearest Mother in Christ Jesus, and Sister in the holy memory of our blessedmother Catherine, I, Barduccio, a wretched and guilty sinner, recommend myselfto your holy prayers as a feeble infant, orphaned by the death of so greata mother. I received your letter and read it with much pleasure, and communicatedit to my afflicted mothers here, who, supremely grateful for your great charityand tender love towards them, recommend themselves greatly, for their part,to your prayers, and beg you to recommend them to the Prioress and all thesisters that they may be ready to do all that may be pleasing to God concerningthemselves and you. But since you, as a beloved and faithful daughter, desireto know the end of our common mother, I am constrained to satisfy your desire;and although I know myself to be but little fitted to give such a narration,I will write in any case what my feeble eyes have seen, and what the dullsenses of my soul have been able to comprehend. This blessed virgin and motherof thousands of souls, about the feast of the Circumcision, began to feelso great a change both in soul and body, that she was obliged to alter hermode of life, the action of taking food for her sustenance becoming so loathsometo her, that it was only with the greatest difficulty that she could forceherself to take any, and, when she did so, she swallowed nothing of the substanceof the food, but had the habit of rejecting it. Moreover, not one drop ofwater could she swallow for refreshment, whence came to her a most violentand tedious thirst, and so great an inflammation of her throat that her breathseemed to be fire, with all which, however, she remained in very good health,robust and fresh as usual. In these conditions we reached Sexagesima Sunday,when, about the hour of vespers, at the time of her prayer, she had so violenta stroke that from that day onwards she was no longer in health. Towardsthe night of the following Monday, just after I had written a letter, shehad another stroke so terrific, that we all mourned her as dead, remainingunder it for a long time without giving any sign of life. Then, rising, shestood for an equal space of time, and did not seem the same person as shewho had fallen. From that hour began new travail and bitter pains in herbody, and, Lent having arrived, she began, in spite of her infirmity, togive herself with such application of mind to prayer that the frequency ofthe humble sighs and sorrowful plaints which she exhaled from the depth ofher heart appeared to us a miracle. I think, too, that you know that herprayers were so fervent that one hour spent in prayer by her reduced thatdear tender frame to greater weakness than would be suffered by one who shouldpersist for two whole days in prayer. Meanwhile, every morning, after communion,she arose from the earth in such a state that any one who had seen her wouldhave thought her dead, and was thus carried back to bed. Thence, after anhour or two, she would arise afresh, and we would go to St. Peter's, althougha good mile distant, where she would place herself in prayer, so remaininguntil vespers, finally returning to the house so worn out that she seemeda corpse. These were her exercises up till the third Sunday in Lent, whenshe finally succumbed, conquered by the innumerable sufferings, which dailyincreased, and consumed her body, and the infinite afflictions of the soulwhich she derived from the consideration of the sins which she saw beingcommitted against God, and from the dangers ever more grave to which sheknew the Holy Church to be exposed, on account of which she remained greatlyovercome, and both internally and externally tormented. She lay in this statefor eight weeks, unable to lift her head, and full of intolerable pains,from the soles of her feet to the crown of her head, to such an extent thatshe would often say: "These pains are truly physical, but not natural; forit seems that God has given permission to the devils to torment this bodyat their pleasure." And, in truth, it evidently was so; for, if I were toattempt to explain the patience which she practiced, under this terribleand unheard-of agony, I should fear to injure, by my explanations, factswhich cannot be explained. This only will I say, that, every time that anew torment came upon her, she would joyously raise her eyes and her heartto God and say: "Thanks to You, oh eternal Spouse, for granting such gracesafresh every day to me, Your miserable and most unworthy handmaid!" In thisway her body continued to consume itself until the Sunday before the Ascension;but by that time it was reduced to such a state that it seemed like a corpsein a picture, though I speak not of the face, which remained ever angelicaland breathed forth devotion, but of the bosom and limbs, in which nothingcould be seen but the bones, covered by the thinnest skin, and so feeblewas she from the waist downwards that she could not move herself, even alittle, from one side to another. In the night preceding the aforesaid Sunday,about two hours or more before dawn, a great change was produced in her,and we thought that she was approaching the end. The whole family was thencalled around her, and she, with singular humility and devotion, made signsto those who were standing near that she desired to receive Holy Absolutionfor her faults and the pains due to them, and so it was done. After whichshe became gradually reduced to such a state that we could observe no othermovement than her breathing, continuous, sad, and feeble. On account of thisit seemed right to give her extreme unction, which our abbot of Sant' Antimodid, while she lay as it were deprived of feeling. After this unction shebegan altogether to change, and to make various signs with her head and herarms as if to show that she was suffering from grave assaults of demons,and remained in this calamitous state for an hour and a half, half of whichtime having been passed in silence, she began to say: "I have sinned! OhLord, have mercy on me!" And this, as I believe, she repeated more than sixtytimes, raising each time her right arm, and then letting it fall and strikethe bed. Then, changing her words, she said as many times again, but withoutmoving her arms, "Holy God, have mercy on me!" Finally she employed the remainderof the above-mentioned time with many other formulas of prayer both humbleand devout, expressing various acts of virtue, after which her face suddenlychanged from gloom to angelic light, and her tearful and clouded eyes becameserene and joyous, in such a manner that I could not doubt that, like onesaved from a deep sea, she was restored to herself, which circumstance greatlymitigated the grief of her sons and daughters who were standing around inthe affliction you can imagine. Catherine had been lying on the bosom ofMother Alessia and now succeeded in rising, and with a little help beganto sit up, leaning against the same mother. In the meantime we had put beforeher eyes a pious picture, containing many relics and various pictures ofthe saints. She, however, fixed her eyes on the image of the cross set init, and began to adore it, explaining, in words, certain of her most profoundfeelings of the goodness of God, and while she prayed, she accused herselfin general of all her sins in the sight of God, and, in particular, said:"It is my fault, oh eternal Trinity, that I have offended You so miserablywith my negligence, ignorance, ingratitude, and disobedience, and many otherdefects. Wretch that I am! for I have not observed Your commandments, eitherthose which are given in general to all, or those which Your goodness laidupon me in particular! Oh mean creature that I am!" Saying which, she struckher breast, repeating her confession, and continued: "I have not observedYour precept, with which You commanded me to seek always to give You honor,and to spend myself in labors for my nei ghbor, while I, on the contrary,have fled from labors, especially where they were necessary. Did You notcommand me, oh, my God! to abandon all thought of myself and to considersolely the praise and glory of Your Name in the salvation of souls, and withthis food alone, taken from the table of the most holy Cross, to comfortmyself? But I have sought my own consolation. You did ever invite me to bindmyself to You alone by sweet, loving, and fervent desires, by tears and humbleand continuous prayers for the salvation of the whole world and for thereformation of the holy Church, promising me that, on account of them, Youwould use mercy with the world, and give new beauty to Your Spouse; but I,wretched one, have not corresponded with Your desire, but have remained asleepin the bed of negligence. "Oh, unhappy that I am! You have placed me in chargeof souls, assigning to me so many beloved sons, that I should love them withsingular love and direct them to You by the way of Life, but I have beento them nothing but a mirror of human weakness; I have had no care of them;I have not helped them with continuous and humble prayer in Your presence,nor have I given them sufficient examples of the good life or the warningsof salutary doctrine. Oh, mean creature that I am! with how little reverencehave I received Your innumerable gifts, the graces of such sweet tormentsand labors which it pleased You to accumulate on this fragile body, nor haveI endured them with that burning desire and ardent love with which You sentthem to me. Alas! oh, my Love, through Your excessive goodness You choseme for Your spouse, from the beginning of my childhood, but I was not faithfulenough; in fact, I was unfaithful to You, because I did not keep my memoryfaithful to You alone and to Your most high benefits; nor have I fixed myintelligence on the thought of them only or disposed my will to love Youimmediately with all its strength." Of these and many other similar thingsdid that pure dove accuse herself, rather, as I think, for our example thanfor her own need, and then, turning to the priest, said: "For the love ofChrist crucified, absolve me of all these sins which I have confessed inthe presence of God, and of all the others which I cannot remember." Thatdone, she asked again for the plenary indulgence, saying that it had beengranted her by Pope Gregory and Pope Urban, saying this as one an hungeredfor the Blood of Christ. So I did what she asked, and she, keeping her eyesever fixed on the crucifix, began afresh to adore it with the greatest devotion,and to say certain very profound things which I, for my sins, was not worthyto understand, and also on account of the grief with which I was laboringand the anguish with which her throat was oppressed, which was so great thatshe could hardly utter her words, while we, placing our ears to her mouth,were able to catch one or two now or again, passing them on from one to theother. After this she turned to certain of her sons, who had not been presentat a memorable discourse, which, many days previously, she had made to thewhole family, showing us the way of salvation and perfection, and layingupon each of us the particular task which he was to perform after her death.She now did the same to these others, begging most humbly pardon of all forthe slight care which she seemed to have had of our salvation. Then she saidcertain things to Lucio and to another, and finally to me, and then turnedherself straightway to prayer. Oh! had you seen with what humility and reverenceshe begged and received many times the blessing of her most sorrowful mother,all that I can say is that it was a bitter sweet to her. How full of tenderaffection was the spectacle of the mother, recommending herself to her blessedchild, and begging her to obtain a particular grace from God -- namely, thatin these melancholy circumstances she might not offend Him. But all thesethings did not distract the holy virgin from the fervor of her prayer; and,approaching her end, she began to pray especially for the Catholic Church,for which she declared she was giving her life. She prayed again for PopeUrban VI., whom she resolutely confessed to be the true Pontiff, and strengthenedher sons never to hesitate to give their life for that truth. Then, withthe greatest fervor, she besought all her beloved children whom the Lordhad given her, to love Him alone, repeating many of the words which our Saviorused, when He recommended the disciples to the Father, praying with suchaffection, that, at hearing her, not only our hearts, but the very stonesmight have been broken. Finally, making the sign of the cross, she blessedus all, and thus continued in prayer to the end of her life for which shehad so longed, saying: "You, oh Lord, call me, and I come to You, not throughmy merits, but through Your mercy alone, which I ask of You, in virtue ofYour Blood!" and many times she called out: "Blood, Blood!" Finally, afterthe example of the Savior, she said: "Father, into Your Hands I commend mysoul and my spirit," and thus sweetly, with a face all shining and angelical,she bent her head, and gave up the ghost. Her transit occurred on the Sundayat the hour of Sext, but we kept her unburied until the hour of Complineon Tuesday, without any odor being perceptible, her body remaining so pure,intact, and fragrant, that her arms, her neck and her legs remained as flexibleas if she were still alive. During those three days the body was visitedby crowds of people, and lucky he thought himself who was able to touch it.Almighty God also worked many miracles in that time, which in my hurry Iomit. Her tomb is visited devoutly by the faithful, like those of the otherholy bodies which are in Rome, and Almighty God is granting many graces inthe name of His blessed spouse, and I doubt not that there will be many more,and we are made great by hearing of them. I say no more. Recommend me tothe Prioress and all the sisters, for I have, at present, the greatest needof the help of prayer. May Almighty God preserve you and help you to growin His grace.
Catherine, Dialogue 167