Preparation for Marriage

(Prof. Jose Vidamor B. Yu, Manila)

Appreciating Marriage

The preparation of marriage reflects how the Church values and appreciates marriage. The Church values the sacrament because marriage is understood to be a mysterion or sacramentum. As a sacrament, it requires a serious preparation because the fruitfulness of the sacraments extends beyond what is legal, cultural and social. Marriage is constituted by the Will of God and the will of man. Pius XI clarifies that on the one hand, the sacrament is instituted by God, while on the other, it is the giving of oneself for the betterment of the spouse which is a participation of the plan of God. (cf Casti Connubii 9) Thus, the importance of the sacrament of marriage to the life of the Church substantiates its authority over the sacrament.

Holiness of Life

Canon Law considers the preparation of marriage as a means towards achieving holiness of life. The ecclesial community provides assistance to ensure that the matrimonial state be maintained in a Christian spirit as well as the progress toward perfection be guaranteed. (cf cc 1063) This assistance may be in the form preaching and catechesis in order for the spouses to be instructed concerning the meaning of Christian marriage and the duties of the spouses and parents towards the children and family.

The holiness of life may be achieved through a clear understanding of marriage as a vocation. As a sacrament and a vocation, the spouses’ understanding of commitment is significant. The proximate preparation of marriage does not only include the completion of forms required for the ceremony but it includes understanding of engagement, catechesis, and the significance of the marriage covenant. The spouses should receive adequate direction and preparation in relation to their decision to marry. It is utilizing the talents of priests, deacons, religious and the lay people especially counsellors to ensure that the couple be guided and be mature enough to face the challenges of this new phase of their life.

Journey of Faith

The preparation for Christian marriage is itself a journey of faith of both spouses. John Paul II underlines that it is a special opportunity for the spouses to rediscover and deepen their Christian faith. The pre-Cana seminar will make marriage as a sacrament freely accepted and consider it as a vocation to follow Christ and to serve the Kingdom of God. (cf FC 51) Besides, marriage will be understood as a sacrament involving the obligations and responsibilities both in the family and the Christian community. Marriage recalls the reality of union between Christ and the Church. “Sacramentum hoc magnum est, ego autem dico, in Christo et in ecclesia.”

With a profound and meaningful preparation for marriage, the couple begin their daily journey towards progressive actuation of the values and duties of marriage itself. (FC 65) Marriage is a spiritual journey with God. St. John Chrysostom comments that “this is a marriage that is according to Christ, a spiritual marriage and spiritual procreation, not in one blood and the pain of labor.” Pre-Cana programs should focus also on the various problems that threaten the sacrament of marriage today as well as the varied challenges to the family in order to transcend mere physical companionship.